It seems like I have to answer annoying questions about breastfeeding every single day. “Wait, you’re still breastfeeding?” Yes. Yes, I am. I don’t get this one quite as often as most full term breastfeeding moms (yes, full term, not “extended”) because Baby M has a global developmental delay and severe sensory processing disorder which make eating difficult, but I still get it too often. “Isn’t he eating real food yet?” “But he’s a boy.. Won’t he be messed up when he’s older?”
Enough already, America. Breastfeeding is recommended for at least the first two years of a baby’s life, and after that as long as both parties want to continue according to the World Health Organization. So people are not “weird” or “creepy” or “disgusting” for providing their kids with the nutrition and antibodies and comfort that we were designed to give.
That’s all fine and dandy, but what are some more fun ways to answer these question?
5 Fun Ways to Answer Annoying Breastfeeding Questions
“You’re still breastfeeding?”
“Yes, I’m still breastfeeding, but I’m sure she’ll wean by college.”
People will likely be expecting you to say by 2, or by preschool. Throw them for a loop. This is especially helpful if you plan on breastfeeding until your child self weans. I’ve never heard of a college student still breastfeeding, so this is a pretty safe bet. *disclaimer Use wisely, you’re MIL may believe you.
“Don’t you have a cover or something?”
“Oh, are you uncomfortable? I don’t have a cover, but I guess we could use my jacket..” – proceed to place the jacket over your friend’s head, so they are no longer seeing such an offensive act.
Your friend [ideally] will realize that asking someone to eat with a blanket over their head is ridiculous. Or, she’ll just get a laugh that you were brave enough to throw a jacket over her head. *again, make sure that you use this wisely. Your best friend might think it’s funny, your FIL likely won’t.
“If they’re old enough to ask for it, they’re too old for it”
“Oh I totally understand. That’s why we stop giving our children water and apples when they learn to ask for them, right?”
This one is just pure logic. When a formula fed baby starts signing milk or saying “baba”, we don’t immediately demand that they don’t get it anymore. If we never gave kids anything that they could ask for, they’d starve. It just doesn’t make sense.
“What if he remembers this?”
“Oh, wouldn’t it be horrible if his first memories of breasts involve being nourished and loved instead of sneaking a peek at an inappropriate magazine?”
Let’s be real here, most boys spend a good portion of their life trying see breasts. Wouldn’t it be a good thing if more boys were taught [and remembered] that breasts are first and foremost for nurturing babies?
“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in the restroom?”
“Would you be more comfortable waiting in the restroom until I’m finished?”
This one happens most at restaurants. Most moms who breastfeed at restaurants to do it while they’re eating. No, we do not want to stop eating, go to the restroom [gross], try to find somewhere to sit [grosser], feed our baby, and then come back to cold food. Just no.
Breastfeeding is completely natural, and it’s good for both moms and babies. Unfortunately, sometimes the world doesn’t quite understand that, and we face some obnoxious questions. While most of these I say in my head instead of out loud, I hope they make you smile the next time someone asks you an annoying question about breastfeeding!
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Haha very funny Kaylene! I love the one where you “throw” a jacket on to your friend’s head to shield his or her eyes!
Natasha Mila recently posted…Cullen’s Abc’s Preschool Bible Study
Isn’t that great? It would probably make them realize how ridiculous it is to eat with a blanket over your face! haha. :)
Haha I was thinking that too! The throw a jacket over their head was my favorite.
That’s one of my favorites, too. :)
I’m still breastfeeding my 2 1/2 year old daughter… these are very funny and useful replies–thanks!
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You’re very welcome, and congrats on making it that long! Baby M is 18 months old and I always say he’ll be nursing til he’s twelve he’s so attached. :)
I breastfed my children until around 3. They self weaned. I heard it all. I am 62 years old. The questions never change. LOL Keep up the good work!
I nursed my daughter (now 35) until she was about two and a half, and while it was a little inconvenient for me, I always made sure that I was covered, or would excuse myself and find a private place to feed her. You can use a receiving blanket as a shield without suffocating your child, for Pete’s sake. My daughter nursed her two children with the same consideration for others. I had a sister-in-law who would wear a sundress and just pull down one side and whip it out when she was ready to feed her daughter, and it was very uncomfortable for everyone in the room. Just because it is natural doesn’t mean that everyone needs to see it. Isn’t going to the bathroom natural, too?
Congratulations for nursing so long! Two and a half years is quite an accomplishment! I completely respect your decision to nurse with a cover. With my two older sons I was uncomfortable nursing in public, and I used a cover or blanket every time I fed them. My youngest, however, could not eat with any sort of cover. He was premature and has a global developmental delay, so him nursing effectively and getting calories was a much higher priority than the comfort level of those around us. I couldn’t just stay home because I have two other children and errands to run. Many moms do choose to use a private place to nurse if there’s an appropriate place to do so. For example at the fair this past summer, the breastfeeding coalition in our area made a booth with a changing table and comfortable chairs for moms to sit in and nurse. I used that booth because it gave me a quiet place to relax and feed in peace. That said, I don’t think that a restroom is an appropriate place for a mother to nurse her baby. Ultimately, I believe that the choice whether to cover or not should be based on the comfort level of the mom. :) Thank you for sharing your experience!
LOL I LOVE THIS! I BF my daughter until she was 14 months and got a lot of the same questions. She self weaned at that point because she was so curious she didn’t want to stop to eat but I would have gone longer. I love the one about being more comfortable in the restroom, EWWWW give me a break. Good for you mama you are amazing!
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Wow thank you! And congratulations for nursing that long! 14 months is a huge accomplishment. (Who am I kidding, 1 month is a huge accomplishment!)
I never really understood how people think it’s perfectly acceptable to request a breastfeeding mother go in the bathroom. Do they really expect us to sit on a stall? Yuck!
Baby M is starting to get really distracted while nursing, so who knows how long he’ll keep it up. We may be down to early morning, nap time, and bed time soon.
Thank you for reading and sharing!
First I want to say I LOVE your response to the comment above. So filled with grace and understanding!
I also totally get this. I nursed my daughter until she weaned at 33 months (shortly before my second was born). There were definitely times I wanted to answer questions this way! For the most part people were respectful in the real world, but there were some unwittingly rude comments (and some intentional ones). I only wish I had the courage to be so flippant!
There is a cultural bias against mother’s who breastfeed for longer than a year, and I love your light-hearted humor. I may not always say it, but thinking it to myself gives me confidence. :-)
I completely agree! I will admit, these are answers that I think to myself or say after the fact to my fiance or best friends. I’m not brave enough to use them in real life most of the time, though my mom has definitely heard a few of them a time or two!
And thank you! Everything that I wrote is true. I fully believe that a breastfeeding mother has every right to cover if that’s how she is most comfortable. Some people are more comfortable that way and some aren’t. :)
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
Oh I love these answers. I am amazed what people ask sometimes!!