It seems like I have to answer annoying questions about breastfeeding every single day. “Wait, you’re still breastfeeding?” Yes. Yes, I am. I don’t get this one quite as often as most full term breastfeeding moms (yes, full term, not “extended”) because Baby M has a global developmental delay and severe sensory processing disorder which make eating difficult, but I still get it too often. “Isn’t he eating real food yet?” “But he’s a boy.. Won’t he be messed up when he’s older?”
Enough already, America. Breastfeeding is recommended for at least the first two years of a baby’s life, and after that as long as both parties want to continue according to the World Health Organization. So people are not “weird” or “creepy” or “disgusting” for providing their kids with the nutrition and antibodies and comfort that we were designed to give.
That’s all fine and dandy, but what are some more fun ways to answer these question?
5 Fun Ways to Answer Annoying Breastfeeding Questions
“You’re still breastfeeding?”
“Yes, I’m still breastfeeding, but I’m sure she’ll wean by college.”
People will likely be expecting you to say by 2, or by preschool. Throw them for a loop. This is especially helpful if you plan on breastfeeding until your child self weans. I’ve never heard of a college student still breastfeeding, so this is a pretty safe bet. *disclaimer Use wisely, you’re MIL may believe you.
“Don’t you have a cover or something?”
“Oh, are you uncomfortable? I don’t have a cover, but I guess we could use my jacket..” – proceed to place the jacket over your friend’s head, so they are no longer seeing such an offensive act.
Your friend [ideally] will realize that asking someone to eat with a blanket over their head is ridiculous. Or, she’ll just get a laugh that you were brave enough to throw a jacket over her head. *again, make sure that you use this wisely. Your best friend might think it’s funny, your FIL likely won’t.
“If they’re old enough to ask for it, they’re too old for it”
“Oh I totally understand. That’s why we stop giving our children water and apples when they learn to ask for them, right?”
This one is just pure logic. When a formula fed baby starts signing milk or saying “baba”, we don’t immediately demand that they don’t get it anymore. If we never gave kids anything that they could ask for, they’d starve. It just doesn’t make sense.
“What if he remembers this?”
“Oh, wouldn’t it be horrible if his first memories of breasts involve being nourished and loved instead of sneaking a peek at an inappropriate magazine?”
Let’s be real here, most boys spend a good portion of their life trying see breasts. Wouldn’t it be a good thing if more boys were taught [and remembered] that breasts are first and foremost for nurturing babies?
“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in the restroom?”
“Would you be more comfortable waiting in the restroom until I’m finished?”
This one happens most at restaurants. Most moms who breastfeed at restaurants to do it while they’re eating. No, we do not want to stop eating, go to the restroom [gross], try to find somewhere to sit [grosser], feed our baby, and then come back to cold food. Just no.
Breastfeeding is completely natural, and it’s good for both moms and babies. Unfortunately, sometimes the world doesn’t quite understand that, and we face some obnoxious questions. While most of these I say in my head instead of out loud, I hope they make you smile the next time someone asks you an annoying question about breastfeeding!
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