Those days when you have no idea why you started homeschooling in the first place. Those days when your best friend asks how you are, and you just start crying. Those days where cold cereal is served for more than one meal. Those days that you’re incredibly overwhelmed with homeschooling. I’ve definitely had those days, in fact, I have them often. Today I decided to share an open letter with any other mamas who is overwhelmed with homeschooling and really feels like they just don’t want to be a grown up anymore.
To The Overwhelmed Homeschooling Mom
Let me start off by saying, you are not alone, friend! If your children were in jammies until five minutes before Dad came home, or your day didn’t even “start” until 11 am, I’m right there with you. One thing I think we have trouble remembering sometimes is that, for many of us, this is one of the reasons we are homeschooling!
We didn’t want the public school system to tell our child they had to sit still and listen quietly from 8-3:30 every day. We wanted our kids to have a childhood! We wanted them to learn through life.. Real life.
And in real life? Sometimes we don’t make it out of our jammies. Sometimes we sleep in and have breakfast at noon. Sometimes we read a few books and watch the Magic School Bus and call it a school day. And that’s okay! It’s good, even. Homeschooling is so wonderful because you don’t need to stress about making sure every little thing gets done. You have time!
Sweet homeschooling mama, I know if you’re anything like me, you had nice pretty plans for what you’d do every day. It’s so hard seeing those change, isn’t it? Especially if you’re like me and wrote them in color-coded pen, ahem. It’s so easy to feel like we’re inadequate if our kids aren’t naming the 50 states and capitals while they recite multiplication facts and practice the violin and the piano because that homeschooling mom has her children doing it.
We live in a world where the very best of ourselves can be shown to the world, while we keep our messes private. Mamas, how many times have you worn yourself out trying to make your life “Pinterest-Worthy”? It isn’t worth it. I would much rather be a happy, sane mother, than run around like a chicken with no head trying to dye my children’s pasta rainbow colors and make sure they have a new sensory bin daily!
Now this isn’t to say that Pinterest is bad, I love it! I get wonderful ideas from Pinterest, and I probably have over 5,000 pins. It’s just to say that after those bloggers write their wonderful posts for Pinterest, they probably have to deal with a toddler tantrum, or a four year old who still desperately needs a nap but insists he’s ‘too big’, or a baby who just. Won’t. Stop. Nursing. At least, I’d like to think they do. Because they’re humans, too. They’re moms just like we are!
One of my best friends and I became friends by talking about this. As moms we feel like we have to do so much! If we don’t throw an elaborately themed birthday party starting at age one, we’ve failed. Or if, heaven forbid we still haven’t finished the baby book that we started however many months ago.. Or years… Whatever, right? But you have not failed. You are the very best mom to your children that there ever could be.
Keep track of our successes. Are all of your children alive and [relatively] safe? You’re winning! Did your children eat today? [Yes it totally counts if it was normal food and not gmo-free-organic-gluten-free-local-everything-else-free food. I’d say it even counts if it was McDonalds, but I’m not a Pinterest mom. ;)] You’re winning! If you kissed boo-boos, or hugged goodnight, or sang their favorite song for the thousandth time… You are winning! And you are a great mother. Your kids skipping their second grade phonics lesson once or twice won’t keep them from college. Promise!
Even if your kids aren’t reciting Shakespeare yet. ;)
So homeschooling mama, take heart. Know that you are absolutely not alone, and that the days get easier. Your kids will love you whether you dye their pasta rainbow colors, or you just made the yummiest boxed macaroni and cheese.
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I can definitely relate. I am overwhelmed most days. I have some friends that text me encouragement throughout the day and that definitely helps. I also try to pray with a prayer partner on Sunday night to bathe the week in prayer.
Praying together is such a great way to set the week off right! I might have to set up a team of mamas to text each other encouragement throughout the day! That’s a fabulous idea. :) Thanks for stopping by!
Yes, I have found sending quick texts of “I need support” while the 2 year old is struggling or when the 4 year old needs more mental stimulation helps me get through the day!
I have started doing this with a handful of my friends since reading your suggestion and it has helped tremendously! Sometimes we just need adult conversation!
Ah Kaylene, that’s me today! I try and do 2 hours a day of SOMETHING, anything. Today by 5pm…nothing. But one of them had been to dive classes and I’d just been rushing around, feeding them, cleaning them and making a living through blogging, 2 hours on buses to get to diving and just ARRRGHHHH! Stuff happens. I downed tools at 5pm, told them my day was over, fed them hummus on toast and poured a glass of red. Tomorrow is a new day. By the way, my two are 12 and 10, it does get easier, but never completely easy xx
“poured a glass of red” <- That's my favorite part of your whole comment! I'm right there with you, girl!
Thank you so much for your post. I am defiantly going through a season of this and just trying to remind myself over and over of my own reason for homeschooling. It”s not always rainbows and butterflies, but thats ok! Love that you shared your struggles! Definitely makes me feel not alone!
I have no idea how old this post is or if you will ever even see my comment but you brought me to tears tonight. The past few weeks have been rough with everyone getting sick while out of town on Thanksgiving break and coming home just to be out of school even longer because of it. Then of course once my older two kids start to feel better the baby and I get sick. Being Mom I feel like I shouldn’t get any kind of break from teaching so I had planned to make myself teach them today. After waking up with a sick baby all night who still nurses and feeling like my head was going to fall off cause it was pounding so bad things quickly did not go as planned. I read them a book we got from the library and I had them learn about molecules from Magic School Bus (that’s when your post hit home for me). With Christmas nearing and the never ending list of holiday to do’s I’m just hanging on by a thread. My husband is working 6-7 days a WEEK and it has been like that for the past 4 months and will stay that way till early next year. I don’t have a child with autism but I do have a child who has behavioral problems and after years and years of refusing medication for him I finally caved. It was when I realized he was headed to juvenile if I did not get him help. He cannot control his anger and being a big boy and almost 12 that can be scary when I’m here alone with my other two young children. We have good days and bad but here lately it’s been a little rough…. okay no, it’s been very rough. I love my children with every ounce of me and sometimes I feel my best just isn’t good enough for them. I remember when reading to my first and second child before bedtime was just part of our routine and now I have to set a reminder and I’m lucky if it still gets done. I know I’m just going through a rough patch right now and need to suck it up but I wanted to tell you thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have made me feel human. I think we tend to get it in our heads that we are the only ones struggling at the time but the truth is we aren’t! It’s thanks to women like you who don’t sugar coat anything to let us know that life just gets in the way and you deal with it as it comes. There’s always tomorrow:)