(Inside: If you’ve been wondering if you’re autistic, you need this post with signs of autism in adults that may have been missed as children! It’s a goldmine!)
I grew up in the nineties.
It was a great time for Saturday cartoons, Tamagotchis, and Game Boy, but it wasn’t really a great time for autism awareness.
See, when I grew up, most people didn’t really know what autism was.
And when they did, they had a very specific picture in their minds:
A non-speaking autistic boy.
And I grew up an autistic girl who went undiagnosed until my early twenties because there were so many signs of autism that were missed.
So today, I’m sharing with you a few signs of autism in adults that may have been missed as children.
Plus I have a free printable with even more signs of autism in adults for you at the bottom!
Autism In Adults Signs that May Have Been Missed as Kids | Autism Signs in Adults
If you’re the parent of an autistic child, and you’re reading this list and wondering, I want you to know that you’re not alone.
There are many parents realizing they’re autistic now as adults. Some even call us the “lost generation”.
These signs are not the end-all-be-all of autism diagnosis. And I’m not a doctor or autism professional.
I’m just the parent of an autistic child that learned I was autistic as an adult.
Social Signs of Autism in Adults
You might feel like you become whoever you’re around most.
I know for me, when I’m around a certain friend I’m bubbly and LOUD because that’s how she is, and that’s how we connect.
Around another friend, I’m sarcastic and hilarious because that’s how she is.
I learned to mirror my friends social skills in order to fit in. And that’s a habit hard to break!
You may feel as though you live your life on a stage… As if your life isn’t really your own.
Someone must always be watching what you’re doing, or someone’s directed that you should do that movement even though it doesn’t feel quite natural to you.
You also might really struggle with other people breaking the rules.
Autistic people tend to have pretty black and white thinking, so things are right or wrong.
When someone does the wrong thing, seemingly on purpose, it can be really confusing and frustrating.
Sensory Signs of Autism in Adults
You may be labeled a “picky eater” and have only a few preferred foods.
Maybe you have a go-to at every restaurant. For me? Chicken alfredo or chicken strips are almost always safe, so I typically stick to that.
You might seek out deep squeezes or big hugs when you’re stressed or upset.
And you might chew, rub, or tap on things obsessively.
I chew my nails and the collar of my shirts any time I’m stressed or my mind is occupied.
You also might struggle to settle your brain and body down enough for restful sleep at night.
Whether your brain is running a million miles a minute or you feel like your body just can’t stop moving… Sleep may be hard to come by.
(PS: I recommend a weighted blanket!)
Communication Signs of Autism in Adults
You might feel uncomfortable during eye contact, and it may even be painful for you.
Maybe you constantly shift your eyes away and people tell you to look at them all the time.
You might take jokes really literally and not understand them.
This one, though, is really hit and miss.
Some autistic people love jokes and get it instantly.
For me… I understand silly jokes. I understand when there’s a clever punchline.
I don’t always understand jokes where someone lies.
Where they say something as fact, but a non-autistic person would realize they’re joking and not being serious.
You may also prefer to communicate over text or email, rather than over the phone or in person.
I know I prefer text-based communication because it allows plenty of processing time.
Behavioral Signs of Autism in Adults
You might fidget, twist your fingers, or tap certain beats repetitively.
You may struggle to adjust when plans change suddenly, even if the change is a good one.
Maybe your spouse surprises you with a dinner date, and you’re excited but also extremely stressed because it changes what you had in mind.
You also may get more or less upset at something than others deem is “appropriate”.
Maybe someone bringing your food wrong makes you very upset because it means you can’t eat with everyone else and you have to sit their awkwardly waiting.
Or maybe something big happens and you don’t get upset “enough” about it.
And really, I could go on and on all day about these autism signs.
But this blog post would get pretty long, really fast! So I’ve included even more signs in the totally free Autism Signs in Adults printable!
Click the image below and tell me a bit about yourself, and you can grab your Autism Signs in Adults printable!
Thank you. Getting more knowledge from you, i can find ways to help my hubby gets a better sleep. Thanks for sharing.
Oh my goodness I tick nearly every box .. what the hell do I do now??????
I have exactly the same question!
I think my son struggles with high functioning autism. He is 23 and just graduated from film school (no jobs b/c Covid but he didn’t look for one either). He has very few friends and can’t seem to deal with anything but school. As a mom how can I help him?
Interesting. It gives me a clue more about some I suspected but wasn’t sure. Thanks
Thank you,
I’ve always struggled with just being me in a crowd. I started my own business to avoid people in person.
My fingernails are almost non-existent, and I bounce my leg so much, I’ve knee surgery.
I don’t know if I’m autistic. I know that my teachers always thought me different. I remember, even from kindergarten, “Mrs Cribbs, George is extremely smart and can do anything we put in front of him. He just can’t seem to stay focused”.
I don’t know if I’m even qualified to judge myself, but I’m 46 and quite happy knowing that I will die someday all alone. Yet, that statement there is the most relaxing thing in the world. I say it during family gatherings, holidays, and any other situation where contact with people is required
my son has recently been diagnosed on the spectrum — high functioning. He’s 26 and it saddens me that so many signs were missed even when I brought them up to teachers and doctors. I live in CT so there are not really any programs available for him. Any suggestions on where I may start to get him so help?
I am in a similar situation, except I was blind to many signs during his childhood which now that he has been diagnosed at 26 are clear. My issue is how to deal with his resentment, that nobody, not even his own mother could have seen it then. Any ideas??
Yes the big question is now what? I’ve heard it’s difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult due to underfunded health system (New Zealand) and what would be the point at my age (41)? Is the point to gain knowledge and understanding and carry on. This cannot be under estimated as valuable. thank you for a great article, I just wonder, now what?
Almost every single sign describes my adult daughter. I’ve always known but labels carry different weight depending on who gives them and back in the early 90’s diagnosis was always vague or purposely variable when all we really wanted was recognition and support (and I’m not inferring financial). I have struggled unbelievably for 28 years and still do.
My face went WOW when I read your story! I have been to many different Doctor’s & they say there is nothing they can do.I am 56 years Young! But after reading this, I feel like you have been in my diary… Sorry but this it totally me. Now, I will start researching & take maters in my own hands! Thank You for helping me realize that I am NOT crazy! God Bless you!
I’ve always suspected I had autism and I check a lot of these boxes. Would you have any suggestions for where to get tested as an adult, specifically in Maryland?
Very interesting. I always know I was different growing up but I could care less as I had my own world. I could check most of those boxes, but somehow since I had to move soooo many times in my life, I was forced to be more flexible and accommodate toward what’s thrown at you in life. I didn’t start working until I was almost 50 years old as I had to focus raising my family. However, numbers are my passion, and I could find job easier in this field. I could seem to find things people can’t see – even my manager, much younger than I am, is always amazed and often wonder how I can spot things distance away. Oral communication is always an issue as I tend to be jumpy, but my manager learns to understand me. During online conference or group meeting, she’s become my ‘speaker’ as I could just text her to bring up issues or what I think. So don’t fret…. think of what you can do best… pursue it and use it for your own good. We are wired differently than others, use it to gain competitive edge….
“You might feel like you become whoever you’re around most.”
I literally read that line and then burst into tears. I’ve been sobbing for the past hour. It’s been a culmination, and I have been doing research on this topic for a long time but that was the line that really viscerally got through to me that I DO have ASD. That specific thing is something that has defined my social abilities for my whole life, and it’s something I’ve tried to explain many times to no avail. The fact that it was just sitting there at the beginning of an article like a normal thing because it IS for people with ASD is just incredible for me, along with every other single thing I’ve struggled so much with for my whole life without knowing what it was. It’s so nice to finally stop masking to the point I fool even myself. Thank you so much for this. For the entire article, and how much it resonates with me as a female young adult at the brink of that change in generations. Thank you.
Thank you for writing this article, it helped understand myself better. I always wondered what was wrong with me why I had difficulty socializing with people. Again thanks, Kathy
I am 46 a old male who married the woman of his dreams through serious luck because she is my bestest friend and Favorite Human being. I love playing heavy music shows (my wife is my singer always by my side. I loathe things to deviate from any plans that are made and i hate talking to anyone about my feelings so how do I know how to feel about this because it isn’t in my agenda. I checked all but 3 boxes and I am diagnosed adult add.i know I shouldn’t be too scared (not like its cancer) or congenital heart disease but seriously how do I change into someone I dont know, my mom didn’t even live long enough to meet her REAL son.