Some interesting things happen when you become a parent. You learn what sleepless nights really mean, you start to understand why moms talk about coffee and wine all the time, and, if you’re anything like me, you learn every little thing that you are doing differently than your parents did.
“New-Fangled-Babies”
That’s the phrase that my mom has adopted when she’s telling me how crazy I am for any of the millions of tiny parenting choices that she thinks are over the top. See, it’s a simple truth. Things were different when our parents were becoming parents. I would argue that this generation has the biggest difference yet. See, there are always developments in science and opinions between generations, but with the explosion of technology and the internet, there’s been a lot more changes in the last 20-30 years!
Today I’m sharing a few things that I’m doing with my kids that make my mom shake her head and sigh “new-fangled-babies” and I’ll end with some of my thoughts about how we simply do it different.
We Do It Different, Mom
Car Seats
We’ve all heard it a million times. Our parents didn’t even have to use seatbelts as they slid around the back of the station wagon, and they all turned out fine, right? Then when we were babies, we probably had a carseat, but as soon as we could sit up in the back seat, that’s where we sat.
Nowadays kids are in some sort of car seat or booster seat until twelve years old. While lots of people may view it as extreme, a lot of grandmas are actually on board with this one! See, as mamas we just want to keep our kids as safe as possible, and grandmas want that too.
That said, it’s a lot easier to convince them that you now need to keep babies rear facing until at least two than keeping your ten year old in a booster seat. Either way, this one comes down to new science.
We know so much more about cars and safety these days, that we just take the information we’ve been given and run with it. Just like our moms did when they were new moms.
Feeding
This is probably the issue that my mom thinks I’m the craziest about. Now, this isn’t a post about breastfeeding versus formula. I’ve done both, and I have no issues with whichever you choose.
Coincidentally, my mom agrees with me on that and could care less if we nursed or used formula.
What she thinks is crazy is that my kids will have absolutely no solid food until at least 6 months when they are showing all signs of being ready. When they start eating, we skip the rice cereal and feed them real foods.
We also avoid sweets until they’re at least a year, and we avoided peanut butter until they were at least two. (Funny story, avoiding nuts and nut products is no longer recommended. See? Things change all the time!)
My mom firmly believes that you should start with rice cereal around 4 months to teach babies to eat. Is she ever rude to me about my crazy food rules? Nope, she just says “new-fangled-babies”!
Again, this can be a touchy subject, and I am not touching on whether kids should cry it out or co sleep or whatever. Back when my mom was having kids, you just put kids to sleep. You swaddled babies (oh my word the stress she had when Mr. C refused to be swaddled as a baby!) and you put them down and they went to sleep. That was that, with the exception of my extremely colicky older sister. She slept in a baby swing at the foot of my parents bed. Basically, you just got your kids to sleep, period, and for the most part I agree!
The biggest difference comes as my kids get older. I may have been referred to as a sleep nazi a time or two.. Even my older kids still have a rest time, and they all go to bed pretty early. I don’t mess with naps or bed time if I can help it at all. If you randomly stop by for a visit, chances are my kids are resting.
I will re-arrange our entire schedule so that my kids get enough sleep, whereas my mom is a lot more relaxed. She figures, if they’re really that tired they’ll fall asleep.
I’m pretty sure this difference comes down to different family structures. My mom had 3 kids all about 3 years apart, and I am soon to have 4 kids 5 and under. I need nap time!
The Little Things
This is where I notice our differences most. We make different choices constantly with the little things. Should we swaddle the baby or let them sleep freely? I babywear almost constantly, but my mom is a huge fan of strollers.
With this pregnancy, we haven’t shared our due date with anyone, and it’s still making my mom absolutely crazy. I think cloth diapers are fantastic, and my mom doesn’t understand why anyone would choose to wash diapers when there are perfectly good disposables at every store.
There are dozens of tiny differences in the way that my mom and I have chosen to parent. Sometimes I think she’s absolutely nutty, and other times she’s convinced that I’m taking the long way around to get to something simple. But we respect each other.
My mom will say her peace about how silly I am being for wanting to limit who holds my new babies and for how long, but then she will hand the baby back.
Because ultimately, we’re all new moms at some point. We’re all just trying to do the best we can and get a bit of sleep in there somewhere. We all love our kids and do whatever we can for them, we just do it different.
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That was fun to read :) I think the question with me is more “what don’t I do differently than my mom”! Lol
It can definitely feel that way! This was one of my favorite posts to write. :)
This is my daughter Kaylene’s blog so cute she wrote about some of our differences in parenting today! I think it is sweet and I agree we respect each other and love our children and try to do what we think is right for them. I will add one of the best compliments I ever had was when Kaylene’s oldest son was born 7 months after Christina’s son was born and Christina said Mom is pretty good she’ll tell you what she thinks and then let you do what you need to. This is how I try to be I already had my chance to raise my children these are yours. I think my kids are awesome and I trust them to raise their kids, I love that I can express my opinion and respect the decisions they make even if there is a difference.
Love you, Mom!
My mom passed away before I had babies, but there is a lot of advice I get from that generation about eating and sleeping and schedules and all that. I remember one person in particular saying it was crazy that we were giving him formula until he was 1 or that we weren’t putting cereal in his bottle. Most of these differences come from research now, but then there’s just parenting differences that don’t come from the generation gap. I remember one person insisting that I needed to put my 2 month old on a schedule, and it made me crazy. I felt judged, and like I wasn’t being a good mom, but then I realized that strict schedules just don’t work for us. We have a flexible routine to our day now, but I just can’t seem to manage a schedule, and not when dealing with any babies under 6 months.
Then there’s the MIL conflicts, but that’s a whole other post.
Oh and this all goes double for pregnancy. So much has changed!
Oh I hear you about the schedule! My kids pretty much run the show until they’re older babies (6 months to a year, depending on the kiddo). It is just so much easier to me to respond when they’re crying than to try and fight them because “at nine thirty we take a nap”! I’m very sorry about your mom. <3
I was in a booster seat until age 12 because I was a very small child. I can see avoiding peanut butter until age 2 because it seems fairly easy to choke on.