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I wake up early, do a prenatal yoga session and then spend an hour or two working before waking the kids up with a healthy and delicious breakfast. We glide through homeschooling, play dates, therapy sessions, and whatever else the day throws at us. After an equally healthy and delicious lunch, the kids lay down to rest while I spend my time cleaning the house, getting more work done, and reading up on all things pregnancy and baby. Then Chris comes home with a hot home-cooked meal ready the second he walks in the door. That’s always how I expect my pregnancies will go.

Reality? Chris literally has to drag me out of bed before he leaves because the kids are going crazy in their room. We are 5ish minutes late to almost everything. I’ve done one prenatal yoga video, and I had to pause it three times. Our homeschool lessons get behind regularly (like every week) and we decided to skip play dates pretty much all summer. By the time I get all the kids down to rest, I am so exhausted I crash in bed and either sleep or aimlessly pin things that I’ll never do on Pinterest.  I don’t remember the last time I cleaned, you can usually find me getting my work done at 10 pm while Chris catches up on Netflix, and I don’t cook dinner, ever.

My point? Sometimes during pregnancy, we have to change our expectations, and that’s okay! I wrote last week about how ignoring my limits during pregnancy landed me in the ER. Today I’m sharing some of the unrealistic expectations I had and how I’ve had to change those expectations during this pregnancy.

Changing Pregnancy Expectations

Pregnancy is beautiful, but it's also really flipping hard! I've had to change my expectations big time and accept that I can't be super-mom right now.

Having Energy During Pregnancy is a Myth

If you’re one of those pregnant mamas that “glows” and really feels great during pregnancy, this won’t apply to you. However, for me, there is no such thing as energy right now. My iron levels are low, so my body spends way too much energy simply pumping my blood (and therefore, oxygen) through my body. That doesn’t leave much energy for other things like, you know, getting out of bed, getting dressed, and actually being productive with my day. I’ve become an expert at doing almost anything from bed. (I’m serious, stay posted for some blog posts about working from bed and homeschooling from bed.. I’ve been doing both). Yesterday was my baby shower and it was absolutely lovely, but it took about all the energy that I have for a whole week!

I Don’t Need to Read Every Book/Post/Article About Pregnancy

This one was hard for me. I’m a research nerd. I spent days researching the car seat that we’re getting for the new baby, and enjoyed every single minute of it. That said, this is my fourth baby. I’ve been through this all before, and I don’t need to read everything that’s ever been written about pregnancy. I’m choosing to focus my time on a few specific books that focus on things I’m doing differently with this pregnancy than I did with any of my others. Namely, I’ve been obsessed with Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and my Hypnobabies Self-Study Course. I am of course enjoying the tips and tricks from my Pregnancy/Baby Pinterest Board, but I’m not obsessed and determined to finish everything. There are more important things to be doing with my time!

I Don’t Need to do Everything with my Business Before Baby Comes

Part of running your own business is that we tend to be a bit too nervous to take any real breaks. It can feel like if we turn down any clients, we may never get another client again or that if we miss a post on the blog we’ll suddenly lose all of our readers. It’s crazy, but it’s just how my brain works as a work at home mom! The fact is, most of my readers will still be here if I post twice a week instead of three to four times (and thank you for that!). Most of my clients will survive if their website takes three weeks instead of two. My e-book will be fine whether it’s launched this month or next. Things take time, and I don’t need to do everything at once. That said, I am trying to do as much ahead of time so that I can take some real time off when the baby is here (without the guilt)!

I Don’t Need to be “That (Pregnant) Mom”

I don’t know if it’s just me, but people tend to get pregnant in groups around here. Right now in my moms group, four of us are currently expecting and due this winter. When you’re pregnant, it’s really hard not to compare your pregnancy to another mom’s. The thing is, every pregnant mama has something going on. For me? My iron levels are too low, I am labeled “high risk” and could go into labor too early, and I’m fighting for a VBAC. For others? It could be pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, severe morning sickness, or really just any pregnancy aches and pains. Every mama is different, every baby is different, and every pregnancy is different. “That mom” can bake cookies for the bake sale while you can’t even bend to get dinner from the oven? That’s OKAY! You be the best pregnant mama that you can be, and let others do what they can do!

Pregnancy is beautiful and wonderful, but it can also be flat out exhausting. We have to change our expectations of ourselves or we’ll end up overworked, overwhelmed, and maybe even in the ER. Trust me, mama, your health and your baby’s health are more important right now than being super-mom! How have your expectations had to change during pregnancy?